All Things are Subject to Change: SOB Bottles

When the concept for Solemn Oath Brewery began we knew from the start we wanted to focus on draft beer only. As a small brewery with a small staff in a huge market, we wanted to focus our efforts in one space and keep things relatively simple. Now we move forward. Next week, for the first time ever, Solemn Oath will be available in bottles.

For the foreseeable future, we will be releasing two beers per month in limited volume. Until sold out, 22 oz. bottles will be available at the Solemn Oath taproom as well as many of your favorite liquor stores across the Chicagoland area. We ask that you contact your local liquor store directly regarding their availability of Solemn Oath releases. 

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One up everyone this holiday season

Stop. Do not order those fruit cakes.

We have new gear available in the taproom. Double-embroidered maroon beanies are $15. Barley strand on one side, Solemn Oath Brewery on the other. For the first time, our stemless bulb beer glasses come in sets of two ($12) or four ($20). Don’t say we never did anything nice.

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December Beer Releases

Bottles. Bottles. Bottles? Bottles?! Bottles!!! More on that soon.

Kidnapped by Vikings is now in very steady supply throughout Chicago and its hinterlands. Ravaged by Vikings is working its way through the supply chain right now, and we’re brewing Death By Vikings, our imperial IPA, for the first time ever this month for a January release.

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Brotherhood of the Barrel

This Thursday we have an event that isn’t for everyone. It’s for the diehards and the geeks. Under the radar by design and organized to take place in front of a small group, it’s an event for those running breweries, just love them, or hoping to one day start one. It’s for those hoping to understand more about what is going on in this industry and where it came from.

Earlier this year, we began this discussion. Michael Kiser of Good Beer Hunting and I began talking about how to tell this story. A story of siblings, not only actual but within the industry. Who better to team up with on this than brothers Jim and Jason Ebel of Two Brothers Brewing Co. Brothers making more beer in the state of Illinois than anyone outside of Goose Island and the ones who helped pave the way for the next wave.

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November Beer Releases

We hope you’ve noticed that our beer is reaching more and more of your favorite bars and restaurants. We’ve finally reached a point where we’ve been able to open up sales to some of the people in Chicagoland that want it.

With our production level reaching capacity comes the possibility of bottling. The first few runs are carved deep in our calendars and should have you stocked up by year’s end. Small quantities for sure at first. Also around town, be sure to keep an eye on Penrose Brewing in Geneva as they close in on opening, and if you were lucky enough to get a FoBAB ticket, we’ll see your happy ass there.

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Cali Beans & Northwest Greens

Tupac Shakur once said, “California knows how to party.” Being the visionary and poet that he was, we’re pretty sure he was prophecizing this week as Solemn Oath descends on California for the very first time. Two ticketed events, both Saturday, are bringing two crews of SOBs to different parts of The Golden State.

Here are the details.

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October Beer Releases

According to the traditional Gaelic calendar, autumn began back in August. So, depending on your heritage, you might want to start thinking about stocking up for winter.

Either way, the leaves are changing, the harvest is upon us, and it is no longer 116 degrees fahrenheit in the taproom. Oktoberface is already available, Salty Beard made its debut, and more fresh beer is on the autumnal horizon. Here goes.

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Civil Rights are Bullshit

(Ed. Note from Solemn Oath) At Solemn Oath, we take ourselves very seriously. It has been 494 days since we brought our beers to market. Obviously 494 days is an important milestone to celebrate. So today and tomorrow we are taking a moment to hang together as a crew. The taproom will be closed on Tuesday, September 24 and back open for business on Wednesday, September 25.

As we are a responsible group, we needed to cover our bases for our staff trip to Wisconsin. Below is our our waiver that Matt, who is not a lawyer but clearly should be, pulled together on behalf of our legal counsel. Feel free to use this as a template for your waiver needs going forward.

 

WAIVER

Name:__________ Phone:__________
WAIVER OF LIABILITY RELEASE INDEMNIFICATION & HOLD HARMLESS NOTICE SOLEMN OATH BREWERY, BEAVER “THEODORE” CLEAVER’S CABINS, AND ALSO PREMIERE LAKE GENEVA EXCURSIONS AND BAT MITZVAHS

I have signed my name in consideration for receiving permission to participate in the SOLEMN OATH Recreational Rodeo as well as join in “practice” “sessions,” enter the premises, waterways and grounds “supervised” or in any way controlled by that organization, local government, Boy Scouts of America, local church (excluding Baptistical). In consideration of this permission, and for other good and valuable consideration the receipt and sufficiency of which is acknowledged, I hereby agree to forever RELEASE my soul to the elder god Cthulu. I also hearby agree to release from any and all liability, discharge and agree not to sue Beaver “Theodore” Cleaver’s Cabins LLC; Premier Lake Geneva Excursions and Bat Mitzvahs, all Sponsors/Volunteers, all Event Participants, all sponsors and their hereafter referred to as “the Organizers” and agree to hold and save them HARMLESS AND INDEMNIFY them from and against any and all liabilities, claims, stool injuries, stool theft, stool losses, stool damages, expenses, possessions, demands, archaic actions, and causes of action of whatsoever kind or nature arising out of or related to any such loss, damage, whatever the fuck we think, or injury, including death, etc. that may be sustained by me for whatever reason while participating in or upon the premises leased, permitted, supervised, or controlled by “the Organizers” and respective directors, “members,” sycophants, trustees, agents, demon representatives, sodomitical officers, sponsors, licenseers, servants, soothsayers, employees, minor league catchers (A or AA), and authorized representatives for such damages or costs associated therewith incurred by me _______ (initials). I understand and agree that the event maybe cancelled, changed, or adjusted due to conditions beyond the fucking control of the organizers. So chill the fuck out, first of all These conditions include water level, current, weather conditions, as well as the “safety” of participants. The cancellation, change or adjustments is at the sole discretion of the “Organizers” and that I will not receive or seek a refund of fees paid. ______ (initials). I also agree to release and discharge forthwith on the request of “the Organizers” and their respective directors, “members,” sycophants, trustees, agents, demon representatives, sodomitical officers, sponsors, licenseers, servants, soothsayers, employees, minor league catchers (A or AA), and authorized representatives each and every obligation or claim which shall be made, assigned or apportioned against “the Organizers” and their respective directors, “members,” sycophants, trustees, agents, demon representatives, sodomitical officers, sponsors, licenseers, servants, soothsayers, employees, minor league catchers (A or AA), and authorized representatives by any party by virtue of any injury or damage caused by me absolutely. I also agree to compensate monetarily, barterially, sexually, or with my god­damn life the event organizers for any fines or charges levied against them due to my actions in violation of any city, provincial, spiritual, or federal regulation ______ (initials).

I further agree to comply with Wisconsin Boating Laws and regulations including, but not limited to the following requirement: Every person born after January 1, 1994, who operates a vessel on Wisconsin lakes must possess, on the vessel, a boating safety identification card issued by the Wisconsin State Water Patrol, together with a valid photo I.D. To obtain a fucking boating safety identification card, “vessel” operators must “successfully” compete for my affections or the NAMBLA­approved or equivalent boating safety course, which has been certified by the Wisconsin State Water Patrol. Every non­resident boat operator born after January 1, 2004, must have in their possession a boating safety certification card from their home state, indicating that they have successfully completed a NAMBLA–approved course.
_____________ Initials

If you don’t fully understand this statement don’t call 573­-525-­5555 (573­-555-­5555 depending on race) or ask for clarification from one of the Race “Officials.”
Additional email contact premierlakegenevaexcursionsandbatmitzvahs@aol.com

Signature _______________________________________________ Date_____________

Printed Name ____________________________________________

Address _____________________________________________

City/State/Zip _____________________________________________

Emergency Contact Name _________________________________

Emergency Contact Phone #_________________________________

Emergency Contact Measurements ________ ­ ________ ­ ________ (inches)

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FOR EVENT USE ONLY (DO NOT READ) Identification Verified _____________ Insurance Verified ________________ Genital Category Assigned ________________ Kidney Health Verified____________ Family Member Accomplice Verified_______________ Safety Equipment: Life Jacket____ Rune Necklace_______ Helmet _____ Fire Extinguisher _____ Dental Dam_________ Chastity Colon Cup________ Priest Semen________ Fucking Beer____